meh

How I spent my evening on November 8, 2009:

1. Picked up sewing pins from table and floor
2. Switched off lights, pushed bed a little ways from wall and crawled into tiny space
3. Had a good cry
4. Realized what a pathetic person I am
5. Got out of tiny space and surfed fashion blogs
6. Ate reheated dinner and had two Marks & Spencer chocolate digestives
7. Charged iPod touch and typed out this timeline
8. Swallowed down a passion fruit while looking it over

Hamlet

I caught this at KLPac on its first day of showing. Kayson, whose friend was acting in the play, invited Josh and I to go. (His friend turned out to be the funny guy who plays Polonius.) We were among the first ones to get into Pentas 2 (the hall they were using) so we got awesome second-row seats. It was my first time watching a Shakespearean play. I used to read all of Shakespeare's plays when I was younger. Sadly, all I could remember of Hamlet before I watched them perform was that someone killed someone else by pouring something into his ear. And that everyone dies in the end. Aha. I was right. (LOL)

Watching this reminded me yet again that language is not just a form of communication. It is an art. A beautiful stream of consciousness transferred from one person to another. It can be used in such marvelous ways and yet, most of the time is reduced to being solely a means of getting a message across. No thought is given to the way the words are strung together, the way it comes out of the mouth, the way it affects the atmosphere. Words are so powerful.

"I do wish language weren't a luxury. That perfectly articulated words were in everyone's possession."
-Rachel Kong

And so it goes, this soldier knows, the battle with the heart isn't easily won. But it can be won, but it can be won.

I have a million and one things I could blog about myself right now but I shall refrain. Instead I present to you Snowball the dancing Cockatoo. (I instantly recognized the bird as a Cockatoo when my brothers were watching it because I had bird books when I was little. Hee!)

And while we're on the music train, Ingrid Michaelson's 'Everybody' was released recently. Remember her? Well the music on this record is genius. I recommend 'Soldier', 'Everybody' and 'Sort Of'. Then again, all the other songs are just as good. Go get it now!

*Wikipedia describes her genre as Indie Pop.

Gary Go - Just Dance

Remember way back when I posted Lady GaGa's 'Just Dance' (before anyone even knew who she was)? Well today I bring you the best cover of the song I've heard so far, by the man described as a one-man Coldplay. Enjoy.

Gary Go - Just Dance (featuring Mr. Dialysis)

True Love

Unsolicited advice from me to all the people out there trying to find the perfect person and people in relationships who expect their partner to be perfect. If everyone understood this there would be less of all this screwed up crap we call dating nowadays and divorce.

~

Come close
Listen to the story
About a love
More faithful than the morning
The Father gave his only son just to save us

The earth was shaking in the dark
All creation felt the Father's broken heart
Tears were filling heaven's eyes
The day that true love died
The day that true love died

When blood and water hit the ground
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down
We were free and made alive
The day that true love died
The day that true love died

True Love by Phil Wickham

In all honesty, one of the best songs I have ever heard in my entire life.

The thing that I and many other people love most about Phil Wickham is that when he sings, he isn't singing songs about God, he's singing songs to God.

The End of the Beginning of the End

I was listening to this song earlier today and I realized it perfectly describes the feeling that I'm feeling now. I'm choking.

Everyday I sit here waiting
Everyday just seems so long
And now I've had enough of all the hating
Do we even care
It's so unfair
Any day it'll all be over
Everyday there's nothing new
And I'm just trying to find some hope to try to hold onto
But it starts again
It'll never end

I'm heavily broken
And I don't know what to do
Can't you see that I'm choking
And I can't even move
When there's nothing left to say
What can you do
I'm heavily broken
And there's nothing I can do

Almost giving up on trying
Almost heading for a fall
And now my mind is screaming out I've gotta keep on fighting
But then again
It doesn't end

I'm heavily broken
And I don't know what to do
Can't you see that I'm choking
And I can't even move
When there's nothing left to say
What can you do
I'm heavily broken
And there's nothing I can do

Feels like I'm drowning
I'm screaming for air
Louder I'm crying
And you don't even care

Heavily Broken by The Veronicas

It's like a long unattractive rant packaged into a poem that says it all. Even the things you don't want to say.

Maybe there's beauty in goodbye...

Stinky

I guess that confirms it. I've checked by sms and I've checked the website too. They all say the same thing I don't want to believe. On top of all this, my life, my world is falling apart around me. I'm not kidding. It gets worse and worse. Every time I think my life is getting a little better it all crumbles down again. If only, if only we didn't go to hell when we commit suicide. Please, anyone? Help me. Crying doesn't work anymore. I cried last night and felt like crying all day today. Dad's started to clamp down on us again. Depressing lectures in the car, threats to take the computers away, etc. Strife never seems to cease.

Drastic changes that I'm not sure I should tell everyone are about to happen to me and well, my family. It sucks. In so many ways. I keep finding new things to cry about and scare myself with.


Tahniah? They're congratulating me on my death sentence. How rib-tickling. Malaysian National Service is just another way for our extremely corrupted government to pocket money. I hate people. I hate myself. I hate the world. Everything stinks.